Day three

I have arrived to the office in the morning, the documents were still badly drafted but I have signed them, and we’ve been through the computer files, as I took some personal files and pictures. Also I have sent a message agreed with the big boss to our greatest (and almost sole) supplier. The word is on the streets.

Before the office I have been to some kind of a guru. Being skeptical as I am, it is clear that I was pretty desperate. Theoretically he balances my energies, but to me it turns out as therapy, as I talk, cry, and tell things that normally I don’t tell other people. At the end it has some value, but I always leave thinking I won’t return. But I do.

After the office, where I still left my books, I had lunch with my brother. It is always a breath of fresh air, being close to him, talking to him. But sadness had already filled that void. Into that process I have promised myself I won’t think about work, or what will I do with my life from now on, for at least 4 weeks, in which I’ll jog, surf, take care of my kids, of my house, of my wife. And doing that, take care of myself. It would be foolish to believe I would not think about work or my future, but I am treating those thoughts as they were bad thoughts: when they come I try to make them go away by thinking of something else. This blog should be a good way to go through this period, but at the same time it brings back the things I am trying to avoid.

And to finish the day I have updated my Linkedin status as “Shipping professional at Garden Leave”. Now it is public. And now I start to deal with my pride and my shame.